South Indian Wedding - A Different View

What would happen if the traditional mrudangam, nadaswaram (musical instruments played in South Indian - Tam Brahm weddings) would be replaced by cricket commentators, during the muhurtam, especially the part of tying the thaali (mangal-sutra)

Note: Only a true cricket enthusiast can understand this post !!

Bill Lawry: (In his customary high pitch): ho..ho...ho..thats a ripper ! he just took both his hands behind and beautifully tied the thaali...dear o dear...thats brilliant...its all happening out here at the GABBA

Richie Benaud: (As usual, a man of few but highly measured words): And that my friends completes the marriage.....LONG PAUSE

Tony Grieg: (Super Hyper as ever): His hands are in the air...oh hes tied it..no hes not...hes missed it....no no...hes actually tied it.....boy oh boy that was a close call.....

Sunny Gavaskar: (Would immediately go into an Aussie bashing mode completely moving away from the actual significance of the ritual): That is why Indian marriages are so much better than Aussie weddings which are so racist in nature...blah blah...

Ian Chappell: (In his customary way would relate it to some incidents of the past): This scene reminds me of the wedding of the former Indian leg-spinner Chandra in the late 70s. Chandra was a tamilian and the function was identical......

Harsha Bhogle: (would go into his IIM type gyaan mode): This move from being a bachelor to a married man is a huge step that needs adjustments. Its like having to play on bouncy Austrlian wickets after having brought up on flat tracks against mediocre Ranji attacks....